It's Not About Me

2025 was a year of exploration. A year of rediscovering my inner and outer artist. My musical artist remaining in the background for now, I embarked on the journey of the painter, the visual artist, the very first artistic path I pursued. Finally free of the binds of what other people think of me, I felt I could at long last truly uncover my potential as a painter and let her unfold.

I did a lot of sip and paint events, and at home, I did a few studies of the masters (which in my world entails trying to copy or appropriate paintings by known and famous artists). I made my way through a handful of landscape paintings, both plein air and in-studio, and was never fully satisfied with my own style of landscape painting. I wanted wilder brushstrokes and captivating color palettes. I sought to capture “the moment”; nature at its most spectacular. For the time being, I have fallen short of my own expectations of what I aspired to portray.

Something shifted in April. I did my second paint and sip event for pet portrait painting. And after this, commissions for pet portraits started rolling in, boosted by my husband’s ever-vigilant social media promotion on my behalf. For practice, I also did a few as gifts for friends. By my count, I created 22 pet portraits this year.

I didn’t set out this year to become a full-fledged professional painter. At most, I thought I might apply to teach at one of the paint and sip venues. But at first, even that level of professionalism sounded a bit daunting. Besides, even though I am sometimes attracted to the idea of teaching, and at times even excel at it, it is not something I particularly enjoy. It would have been a job, in the sense that it would be a fun and entertaining day job, but not a path to fulfil my creative potential. At the time, I actually needed to create more cashflow so I certainly entertained the possibility.

Once the pet portraits started gaining traction, I had a clear path before me. Within the pet portraits, I was able to experiment with wilder brush strokes and finer details. Some more challenging than others, they all were a playground to explore, unravel, and unearth my own unique style. How much (or how little) detail did I need to give each subject in order to capture their personality? It became a dance over the canvas, with squinting eyes and loose wrists. Some needed much more attention to detail, some came through in the first layer, making me hesitant to proceed from there.

I suppose it makes sense. I’m not painting the photograph of the creature. I’m attempting to capture the essence of the little piece of personality that brought so much love to someone’s life that they wanted to invest in a painting of them. Each personality is different. Some are wild, silly, whimsical companions; some are gentle, warm bundles of snuggles. Of course, they will each call for different brush strokes and different treatments. They are, in fact, different!

Most of 2025, I thought the source of finding my “style” lay within me. It turns out, it has much less to do with me and so much more to do with “tapping in” to the little soul that’s coming through to help me paint this portrait. What colors and what kind of expression come through? What style? What kind of brush strokes?

This is where things get spiritual. Not every pet I am painting has passed away, so not every painting is a seance. However, I have found that every pet wants me to tap in, find them, and let them help me paint. It is sometimes easier with pets I know or knew, but I believe if I keep this process in mind, it doesn’t matter if I knew them or know them; they will teach me everything I need to know about them in order to capture them on the canvas.

​After that, it’s just a matter of getting out of the way. Which isn’t always easy. But realizing that it’s not about me, I don’t stop to think whether a brush stroke is wild enough or if I captured enough detail. I’m not in charge anymore. The beautiful little soul that brought (or is bringing) so much joy to the world - they are truly in charge of this painting.

Below a few of my works from 2025.